The Lila of Awareness

Awakening Through Lila

This week, as I deepen my self-awareness, the concepts of Lila, cosmic play, and existential creativity have stirred something ancient yet vibrant within me. Lila, a term from my Hindu ancestry, has always been present in my life. Elders often described suffering as the Lila of Krishna, Shiva, or Shakti, depending on their divine connection. It was framed as surrender—seeing life not as punishment or chaos, but as divine choreography. Revisiting these ideas in my spiritual journey, I found a deeper resonance: the notion that our joys, struggles, and questions are the goddess playing through us, as us.

I realized: the goddess is in our human form, experiencing the intricate web of life in the Anthropocene. I am not here to become divine; I am here simply to be me, letting all experiences flow in existential creativity. This validation opens one to the truth of Satchidananda- existence, consciousness, bliss. Awareness of being is bliss. It is not something to chase, but something to remember.

In dedication to the divine mother goddess Durga.

Practicing Presence

Throughout the week, I carried this awareness. I noticed my emotions, my inner chatter, the small choices that normally felt tight and hurried now held more space.

Do I need to repeat myself? Do I need to react? Can I allow things to unfold without grasping or trying to control them?

Even conflicts around me began to feel like reflections of my own collective disconnection from inner presence. I wondered: can I stay in this state amidst the swirl of motherhood, relationships, family, aspirations, and study? Perhaps even my complaints about distraction were part of the Lila itself.

Questions danced through me like playful deities:

• If all is Lila, it is a game. What are the rules then? When did we agree to the rules?

• Am I playing with others, or only with myself?

• If everyone is part of me, and I am part of everyone, what is the purpose of this game?
  

As Dr. Francesca reminded me through her book 'The Art of Being Posthuman: Who are we in the 21st Century?', there is no purpose to creativity beyond the manifestation of creativity itself. Maybe that’s enough. Maybe the process is the anchor, enabling us to touch bliss in awareness.

No Judges in the Game

I asked myself, 'How am I coloring this creation?' What values, what art, what energy am I offering?

Then the judgments came: Am I doing enough? Am I enough? And I had to remind myself: there are no judges in the game. Who told me otherwise? We are not judged while we are growing. The harshness I direct inward only veils the flow of creation. Additionally, I have the power to reject external projections of judgment as needed.

Moments of clarity gave way to confusion, then to silence. In that silence, inner stillness, my gaze softened, my thoughts quieted, and I felt no need to speak. Just presence. Just gratitude.

Even amidst all the activities, sounds, projections, news, relationships, and responsibilities around me, there was peace. There was grace.

The Sacredness of Awareness

This practice feels sacred. At times selfish, but in the most honest and healing way. My self-judgment is still alive but quieter; the most beautiful part is that I am aware of it. Awareness itself has become a portal for new creation through the power to choose thoughts, feelings, intentions, reactions, and actions.

And in that space, I discovered: true responsibility does not arise from duty, but from awareness. When we are present, we naturally become caretakers of our words, emotions, and impact, not out of obligation, but out of love.

Grief has been a teacher in this journey; now, I see how natural steps towards Women's Spiritual and Ecological awareness were already part of Lila, part of the healing choreography. Even my perceptions of others softened. No harsh judgments, just curiosity: How has my thinking shaped my world? How have I allowed or resisted connection?

Returning Again and Again

Each moment, I can return to this question: What is the Lila of this moment?

What do I want to create? What do I choose not to energize?

This space I’ve carved feels real, graceful, sacred. It is not about wanting anymore; it is about knowing. Knowing that presence is always here, and being is simply the act of returning to it, again and again.

With love and light, Happy Navaratri. May Mother Divine bless you with awareness of being. Salana Aura.